Digesting Less

Is there such a thing as a ‘Summer Vomiting Bug’?

Each member of our household’s been hit by the galloping trots and copious upchucking this week. Nice. I’ve felt less like purchasing, gutting and cooking seafood than ever.

But, when Ted – the first to fall victim to the vomits – had completely voided his system at the weekend, he said: “I’m really looking forward to eating that octopus next week.”

“Yee gads, cut me a break”, I thought – sloping out vomit from what used to be our salad bowl. Motherhood!

The boy made a quick recovery and resumed his own unique take on the Atkins diet. I was relieved for a past moment of motherly organisation, when I’d purchased frozen giant prawns and frozen pollock fillets (pollock from the Sainsbury’s Basics range, under two quid, about eight pieces, what a bargain). This meant I’ve only had to chuck stuff in a pan and serve it up. Hurrah! ‘Cos even a potato waffle’s been a food group too far for me since being ill.

Today, I poached a pollock fillet in milk and water for seven minutes and served it up to Ted with plain pasta and peas (you’re getting used to the peas now, right?).

He loved it, asking: “Take a photo of me with the pollock. I want to see what we look like together.” The verdict was a resounding “delicious” on the fish, but a serious maternal f-up on the peas. Oh dear. “These are the peas, I don’t like,” he announced. Weeping and wailing followed rapidly, thereafter.

“Clear your plate, or there’s no pudding, etc, etc” I repeatedly huffed, before a moment of dawning realisation. I cooked the wrong peas! On still-dehydrated autopilot, I’d reached for the cheap stuff the adults in our house have. But Ted only does Bird’s Eye best – such a refined (pampered) palate.

He took my apology well, but held me to my earlier promise of ice cream. I hit him with a knock-off version of a Nobbly Bobbly. He was stoked – cheap peas, pah! But cheap ice cream? That really is da bomb…